And now a little sassy humor to bright your day thanks to Julie Dewey.
Livin’ Large Series Book 1
Genre: Romantic comedy BBW
Publisher: JWD Press
Date of Publication: 12/09/14
Number of pages: 110
Word Count: 51,022
Cover Artist: Anne Sabach
My name is Cat and I am one sexy, stylin’ lady who just so happens to be a phone sex operator, or as I like to say, conversation specialist. LOL! Now don’t go dissing me until you hear my story, because it’s a good one. I have been an operator for years, and feel it’s my job to make my clients comfortable when talking to me about their fetishes; and trust me, they can get weird. Most clients have your typical fascination with role-play and bondage, but some are really out there. Regardless of the scenario I have to maintain my professionalism. Don’t worry, I won’t get into all the nitty gritty, but I gotta do my job to make ends meet.
Especially after my sister Landa, the ho, disappears and dumps her four multicolored kids on me, indefinitely. Ronny is the oldest and he is afraid of his own shadow half the time. Michelle, or as I like to call her, Miss Thang, is a sassy, chubby, pre-teen who is always in the pantry. Zoe, falls somewhere in between and half the time you wouldn’t know she was there. Then there is the baby, Jesse, who is sort of caramel colored. He is a cutie pie but he has a dairy problem and it is rank. I didn’t sign up for this, but I admit the kids are growing on me.
In the meantime, I admit, I get lonely without a man. One of my clients, Dale, has been with me for four years. He is your basic nerdy type who has probably never been laid, but there is something about him I like. Most of the time we just talk during our conversations, but he is ready to meet in person and take things to the next level. I am confident in who I am, given my larger than average size, but I am still not sure I am up for a face-to-face with Dale. Then there is Ed, now he is HOT. Alright so he is married and has kids, big whoop, he stirs something in me and we have crossed the line from associates to lovers.
Suddenly I have gone from being a lonely operator to a woman with two men knocking at my door, literally.
My name is Cat. No, it isn’t short for Catherine or Catrina. It’s just plain old Cat, as in meow. Don’t ask me what my mother was thinking when she named me. Apparently during her labor she lost her mind. What I can tell you is that I took some serious hazing for my name growing up; you can only imagine the pussy references I endured. Good Lord. The other thing I will share is that I am a natural red head. Not that bright Ronald McDonald fresh-from-the-box shade of red, but a nice deep red bordering on auburn. Also, my hair is nice and thick, just like the rest of me. I am a plus size, juicy, stylin’ woman with a deep, sexy voice and get this folks; I get paid to have phone sex with your man. You heard me right, but in case it went in one ear and out the other the first time, I will repeat it. I am a phone sex operator, or as I like to think, a conversation specialist. Men, and occasionally women, from all over the world pay the big bucks to listen to me purr and moan. It’s a tough life, but somebody’s got to do it. I’m not being coy when I say that. Well, maybe I am a teeny bit.
I refer to the individuals who pay to listen to my sexy voice as my ‘clients’, although sometimes I think of them as my secret lovers. To call them my clients sounds more sophisticated and reminds me that what we have is a business relationship. It’s a given that the majority of my clients have crazy sexual fetishes, however, with me they have the opportunity to live out their fantasies in a judgment-free zone. I ain’t gonna lie, it can get weird, I mean you can only imagine my clientele, right? I roll with it though, and think of it like being an actress. I got a role to play and hell, I don’t actually meet the men in real life. Don’t get me wrong, we have a personal relationship. We get to know each other as we chat, but we do it all on the phone or online. The World Wide Web has changed my life. It has allowed me to create a business plan that I can execute right from the comfort of my kitchen. This byatch right here is on fire, so look out.
Let me explain the details of my job. I have a website called “Listen to the Kitty Purr”. I am an excellent graphic designer and I am all over social media. I have a Facebook page, Twitter account, Instagram, and even an old MySpace account that I keep active. I am up to fourteen thousand likes on my website for crying out loud. You’d be surprised how many followers I have on my blog and how many questions I get from other women who want to go into business for themselves and make money doing what I do. I have an image of a kitten on my home page, but when you scroll over her with your cursor, my image shows up in its place. I don’t show too much, just my cleavage and the tattoo of a red rose on my right shoulder. I leave the rest up to the client’s imagination, I am not a prostitute for Christ sakes. And for crying out loud I am NOT a lesbian. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But geeze Louise, let it go already.
I have paid advertisements in all the usual places. My phone number and website information can be found on porn site ads as well as the back of magazines. I pay hefty advertising fees for these, but it’s always worth it. So is having a land line so I don’t drop calls or get interrupted.
On my website I have an outline explaining how my program works. If a person reads, and then agrees to both my terms and prices, they can contact me. I work by appointment only and get paid up front (I learned that the hard way), and find PayPal is the best and easiest service out there. My clients range from the anxious nerdy types to the overachievers. I have had government officials, schoolteachers, counselors, firemen, and even stay-at-home moms contact me.
Once I have been contacted, I do a quick background check on my client. Safety first. If they don’t have any arrests, I get started. You are probably wondering what sets me apart from other phone sex operators. In other words, why would your average Joe call me and bother with terms, when he can pick up the phone and dial Dolly from Lusty Lines without any bologna? The bottom line is that what I offer is more than just a one time rodeo. I am always available to my caller, so as we get to know one another, over time, our conversations become even more satisfactory.
Most of my competitors work for companies that employ dozens of people who answer phones and entertain their clients. If a client has a really good time with a particular operator and wants to get them again for a future call, chances are slim to none. Operators with made up names like Candy and Mindy are incentivized with bonuses to engage up to twenty clients per hour. I know, it’s crazy, right? I guess they work under the premise that the caller is already worked up and rarin’ to go when they phone in; so the average call is only three to six minutes long. I, however, stretch out my calls and enthrall the client to ensure he calls back, and he always does. I charge twenty dollars for the first two minutes and two dollars a minute after that. If I do things right, I can earn up to seventy-six dollars per half hour. That’s on the high end, but still it’s not too shabby especially when you compare it to the minimum wage my competitors are collecting.
I don’t negotiate my price. I do, however, negotiate what topics we can discuss and what type of play is allowed. I have to be very firm about this at the beginning of our call so that future calls go well. I am a businesswoman first and foremost. The raunchier and more outlandish the client’s tastes, the higher the rate. For instance, if a client is into listening to me tinkle, then I maintain my sense of humor and professional status while I engage their fantasy and charge them double. If I can’t laugh at this then I am in the wrong business. I draw the line at bestiality, satanism, or anything involving kids or incest. I am not into that stuff and don’t want to pretend to be. Most clients have the basic foot fetish, bondage fetish, or shower fetish that are pretty run of the mill. I have studied up on all the possible topics by reading erotica and doing web searches so I am pretty well versed in all areas. I even have a client that prefers I speak in an English accent. I am happy to oblige him as it’s a fairly easy accent to mimic. Once a client asked me to speak Chinese, well let’s just say that was a debacle because I laughed the whole time.
I divide my callers into three categories, four if you count the newbies or one timers. First, I have “clean” callers that prefer I don’t use foul language or talk dirty. They like a sweeter more wholesome experience and I give it to them. Second, I have “dirty” callers that like profanity and hot sex, usually involving toys or bondage. Third are the “dangerous” callers. These are the clients that want to know all about me. They want to know everything from my favorite foods, to how I dress, where I live, and what my family is like. Sometimes they ask if I have kids or pets, which are indicators of a clientele I probably don’t want to be talking to. If I ever have to cut anyone off, it’s usually from this list.
My busiest days of the year are Christmas and Valentine’s day when guys are feeling lonely and vulnerable and in need of company. My slowest day is Super-bowl Sunday. Otherwise I maintain a fairly steady stream of callers from ten a.m. to midnight. Anyone that calls after hours without an appointment and wakes me up gets charged double.
I keep a thesaurus on my counter at all times in case I run out of words for “baby” or to describe certain parts of the anatomy, believe me there are only so many times you can use the same word over and over again in a fifteen minute appointment. I usually dress up for my appointments as well. It’s true I could talk to my clients while wearing sweat pants and they would never know the difference, but I feel sexier if I am dressed to the nines and that comes across in the call.
I also keep lozenges on hand at all times, that and water bottles or hot tea with honey. I do A LOT of talking and my throat gets dry fast.
Another way to make bank is through merchandising. I have an extensive list of items that are for sale, including stockings, garter belts, perfumes, and undergarments among other things. You would not believe how many people ask for these items. I should buy stock at Victoria’s Secret! I stock up on the sales, which are usually five pairs of undies for twenty dollars, and then I double the cost for a client, plus shipping.
I earn every penny the hard way, get it? The “hard” way, God, I crack myself up. I build relationships with my clients and strive to keep it real. Not all our conversations are about sex, sometimes the men are lonely or just need to vent about their wives. That’s where the professional conversationalist part comes in handy. Sometimes I am more therapist than phone operator, and I take this role very seriously. I always want to help my clients if they are struggling. I also want to provide a safe haven for them, a place that they can share secret thoughts without feeling ashamed.
The work is interesting and I learn as I go. I don’t Skype with clients, but I do instant message in real time. I used to record myself moaning and groaning and just press play when a client needed a quick release, but one time a client shared the feed and I had to threaten the bastard with breach of contract and a court date. I like real time interactions better anyway because we can hear each other and really connect. I know when someone is engaged or distracted based on his or her voice. This makes it better for business.
Some of the men get excited before I even start talking dirty. I talk to them about everyday things while we chat and ‘get to know each other’. I tell them I am making waffles with whipped cream and strawberries to give them a visual, and let them picture me however they want. They might ask what I look like, and my classic response is, “what do you want me to look like?” I take his or her response and build it up. I start out pretty perky and ask all kinds of questions. I praise a man at every turn and build his ego, priming him for future phone calls. At this point of the phone call, or online chat, he thinks he is the one in control. I let him go on thinking that, it’s all part of my plan.
Julie Dewey is the author of four novels, including Forgetting Tabitha: The Story of an Orphan Train Rider, One Thousand Porches and The Back Building. Two books ranked #1 on Amazon’s Best Seller List. She resides in Central New York with her husband and two children.
Her husband is a sexy trucker, her daughter’s a Nashville crooner, and her son, well he hasn’t figured out what he is yet but he’s got time. Livin’ Large is Julie’s first book series and she applies the motto to her own life. Live large, love life, and be happy, dammit!
To learn more about Julie, visit her online:
3 $10 Amazon gift cards
5 ebook copies of Cat
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